Alright, it’s coming back to bite me in the butt. I cannot tell a lie- I love gossip. I love the drama of gossip, I love knowing gossip, I love spreading gossip. Knowing something about someone else, especially if it’s juicy, gives you a sense of power. You choose whether to tell or keep it to yourself. You can, if you’re a good story teller, hold the rapt attention of an audience if you choose to divulge your knowledge. At times, it can almost feel like your civic duty to continue to share the information that someone has passed onto you. They trusted you to keep the telephone lines buzzing… unless they specifically told you not to. And even then, they can’t have meant you weren’t supposed to tell anyone, right?
Before you start judging me and spreading gossip about what a horrible person I am, read on. I like gossip, but I especially like it if it comes from me. I really enjoy being in the midst of a good drama. I love to tell my side and make sure you validate what I did or said. Or at least what I told you I did or said, because, as I’ve mentioned, I’m not good at confrontation and rarely do or say most of what I said I did or said. Got that? I enjoy being wronged, having others rally to my defense to stand united against a real or imagined slight. I do, I love it.
But I also know when to keep my mouth shut. You might have a hard time believing that at this moment… or if you know me at all. It is the truth, however. I rarely pass along gossip that could hurt someone. I don’t enjoy spreading others’ pain or misery. I don’t relish the idea of making someone look bad just so I can get some kicks. I don’t pass along damaging information just to get a laugh. I am picky in what I choose to gossip about.
Even if it IS about me. There is so much that I could say right now, but I have chosen to bite my tongue. And in biting my tongue, someone else is biting me in the ass. And I probably deserve that on some level.
I wish it would teach me not to gossip, but it probably won’t. I will continue to be careful in what I say, however.
And I will pick my friends a little more carefully in the future.